Six-second women’s MMA knockout. My goodness!

six-second-mma-knockout-goodness

Elin Oberg took on Anna Astvik and they fought a quick, but sweet, fight. Well, it was sweet for Oberg. Astvik, not so much. The fight produced a six-second knockout that saw Astvik with her toes curled up and reaching out to ride an invisible bicycle.

After a quick touch of the gloves, Astvik struck first but was immediately countered with a left hand straight to the jaw. While it looks as if Oberg didn’t need to follow with another strike on the ground, she did anyway.

The follow-up put Astvik down for good and sent her far away to her special dream place.

Kamaru Usman says UFC offered him Colby Covington (for the fifth time)

kamaru-usman-offered-colby-covington-fifth-time

Like Dave Chappelle says, “One, two, three, four, FIFTH!”. That’s correct, kids. For the fifth time, the UFC have offered Kamaru Usman a fight with Colby Covington and Usman has accepted every time. Colby, however, seemingly does not want any part of him.

It does make sense, actually. Covington relies on his cardio and wrestling to beat his opponents and Usman excels at both of those things. This forces Covington to have to fight with his hands and that is NOT what he is good at.

Usman knows this and all but guarantees that Colby will not accept this fight.

“I think there is a 0.000001% chance that Dana White will make him fight.”

Usman insists that Colby is scared and wants none of what he’s got.

I just think that Colby is too busy trying to make Colby great again.

Allen Crowder set to face Greg Hardy says he’ll win it for Rachael Ostovich

allen-crowder-face-greg-hardy-rachael-ostovich

Allen Crowder is set to face Greg Hardy on the UFC’s ESPN inaugural debut. The card just so happens to be Hardy’s first time under the UFC banner. Word got out yesterday that Hardy was added to the card and given his history with domestic abuse, some questions were asked. Most importantly, “Why would the UFC put a domestic abuser like Hardy on the same card as a domestic violence survivor like Rachael Ostovich?”. Dana White came out and gave the answer to that.

“She’s totally cool with it.”

Oh, well in that case…

Let’s be real. It’s bad form of the UFC, who have consistently said there is no place for domestic abuse in their organization, to continue employing these guys. it’s even more inappropriate to put someone like Hardy on the same card as Ostovich, no matter how ‘Totally cool with it’ she may be.

Hardy’s opponent, Allen Crowder, is certainly not cool with it and had some thoughts of his own on the situation.

“I definitely want to win this fight for her. I’m very against men beating women. I’m definitely not a woman, so he’s going to have a lot harder time with me than he did the last person.

It’s definitely a bad situation and I don’t know how she’s taking it; Best of luck to her in her fight. I’m going to get that win for her and we’ll go from there.”

It was divine intervention that got Tyson Fury off of the canvas, says Wilder

divine-intervention-fury-canvas-wilder

After Deontay Wilder knocked Tyson Fury out in the 12th round of their fight, that fight was all but over. Fury was, in fact, not knocked out and rose from the ashes like the damn Phoenix in The X-Men. Fans were in awe and couldn’t believe their eyes. Deontay Wilder knew what woke Fury up. It was divine intervention.

To quote Pulp Fiction:

Jules: This was Divine Intervention! You know what “divine intervention” is?
Vincent: Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets.
Jules: Yeah, man, that’s what it means. That’s exactly what it means! God came down from Heaven and stopped these motherf****n bullets.

This is Deontay Wilder’s theory and I almost tend to agree with him. For all intents and purposes, Tyson Fury was lifeless and on his way to his first professional loss. Out of nowhere, Fury just got up like he wasn’t just in a coma after taking a crushing shot to the head.

That’s the only explanation that is acceptable. That, or he’s the WWE’s Undertaker in disguise.

The mother of all streetfights… and not one word was said.

mother-streetfights-word

Here it is ladies and gentlemen. It’s the mother of all streetfights. There’s no screaming or yelling, just two dudes going hard whilst wearing some millennial clothes worth more than my mortgage. There’s no word on what started the beef between the two but rumor has it that they are both in love with Hermione.

It gets even more hardcore when one of the gents tries to walk away. His opponent won’t let him get away that easy. Why should he? He IS the son of Lucius Malfoy.

Okay, that’s enough Harry Potter references. Just check out this video.

UFC adds domestic abuser to the same card as a domestic abuse survivor

ufc-adds-abuser-domestic-abuse-survivor

Oh UFC… This is SUCH a bad look. Greg Hardy is a disgraced fallen NFL player who was released because of his hobby as a domestic abuser. Rachael Ostivich is still recovering from a broken orbital as a result of her husband’s domestic violence against her. These are the stories surrounding the two and the … Read moreUFC adds domestic abuser to the same card as a domestic abuse survivor

This guy bet on Wilder/Fury to go to a draw. Drinks for everyone!!!

bet-wilder-fury-draw-drinks-everyone

This fella is the correct guy to have around when shit goes right. He put down a bet for £500 ($636.85) on Tyson Fury vs Deontay Wilder. However, his bet was on the fight going to a draw. To most people’s chagrin, it did, in fact, go to a draw. While everyone was screaming that … Read moreThis guy bet on Wilder/Fury to go to a draw. Drinks for everyone!!!

Brian Ortega chokes the TMZ guy with the goofy ass haircut, again

ortega-chokes-tmz-goofy-ass-haircut

Five months ago, Brian Ortega was in the TMZ studios and he choked out one of the TMZ guys with the goofy ass Flock of Seagulls haircut. Ortega is back and the dude’s hair is still just as silly. Ortega does a little instructional on how to put a TMZ staffer to sleep, which personally, I think everyone should learn.

This is a fairly uncommon choke in competition but I can see how it would work in a street fight against someone that has no idea what they are doing.

This video is a microcosm about what BJJ is really like. With just the slightest turn or movement; A grown man can go from a happy fun-loving staffer, to a sleeping princess with a stupid ass haircut in just a matter of seconds.

Ronda corners the RAW GM and demands retribution

ronda-corners-raw-demands-retribution

The WWE is all about retribution and revenge. The soap opera on steroids has more to do with storyline and feelings than it does with the physical performance. This week, the top story on WWE Monday Night RAW is the same as it always is; Whatever is happening with Ronda Rousey. Once again, her segment leads the charge as the most view part of the show.

The story is that Natalya is her friend and Natalya gets attacked and of course, Ronda has to do something about it. She hits up the acting general manager, Alexa Bliss, and demands that she gets to exact her revenge on those who wronged her. Bliss obliged and Ronda got her match.

It’s incredible how fast Ronda has taken over the WWE as the biggest draw. Amazingly, she leads the way every week.

Joe B looking for a quick turnaround and insists the flyweights are staying

quick-turnaround-insists-flyweights-staying

I guess the saying is true… There really is no rest for the Joseph Benavidez. After fighting this past weekend and winning spectacularly, Joseph Benavidez is already booked for a quick turnaround fight in Anaheim, California next month. He will be taking on Deiveson “Daico” Figueiredo and yes, it will be in the UFC flyweight … Read moreJoe B looking for a quick turnaround and insists the flyweights are staying

KO’ing a guy so hard, his hands are still up while looking to the scoreboard

hard-hands-looking-scoreboard

There isn’t even a scoreboard in MMA, but this poor guy was looking at one and still defending himself while out cold. Aaron Webb is a former Bellator fighter who laced the gloves up again, but this time in the LFA. He fought undefeated prospect, Austin Lingo and Lingo showed why his nickname is ‘Lights Out’.

Both fighters came out swinging hard and Webb even landed some solid shots. However, the shots didn’t stop Lingo. It only took 13 seconds and Lingo sealed the deal in a hurry.

He even followed up with an unnecessary shot to make sure that Webb was out.

Fyi, yes, he was totally out.

Someone better call the ambulance because, she dead.

someone-better-ambulance-she-dead

Holy Hailey Cowan! After her brutal knockout on Friday night at LFA, someone better have called the police because there was a murder via headkick. Jessica Sotack was Cowan’s opponent and she never even saw Cowan coming. Actually, it was the quick feet of Cowan that went unseen. Sotack looked as if she thought the kick was coming in low and she just froze. This lead to a KO of the Year candidate by Cowan.

Cowan even took he foot off of the gas after she saw her opponent laid out. She got to Sotack before the ref did and called the fight herself. There was no need to inflict further damage on her fallen opponent.

Dancing Brian Ortega don’t stop til he gets enough

brian-ortega-stop-enough

On the verge of his first UFC title shot, Brian Ortega won’t stop. No, he won’t stop til he gets enough. Doing his best Michael Jackson impersonation, Brian D-City (Dance City) hits the street in his fullsuit after a surf session and shows us how to put it down. If he had shoes on, there … Read moreDancing Brian Ortega don’t stop til he gets enough

Someone spoke too soon. Cub Swanson says he’s not fighting Aldo at 233

someone-spoke-soon-cub-swanson-fighting-aldo

Lucy, you got some ‘splaining to do! Rumors began to pick up and almost every MMA media outlet reported that Cub Swanson would rematch Jose Aldo. Cub posted to his Twitter that someone spoke too soon. Despite campaigning for the Aldo fight for years, that date does not work for him. I love this fight … Read moreSomeone spoke too soon. Cub Swanson says he’s not fighting Aldo at 233

If you are the best fighter in the world, you’re doing a ‘shoey’, baby!

best-fighter-world-shoey-dc

In the words of UFC on FOX’s Karyn Bryant, “Shoey, baby!”. When you are the consensus pound for pound best fighter in the world, you’re doing a shoey. The bizarre stunt rose to prominence as Tai Tuivasa climbed the heavyweight division. Each time he won a fight he did a shoey. That is, he drank beer out of someone else’s shoe.

If it sounds disgusting, well, that’s because it is. So, when Tuivasa fought this past Saturday night, the UFC on FOX crew felt that it was only appropriate that the double champ, Daniel Cormier, do a shoey.

There is no word as to whose shoe DC drank out of. All we know is that it was a running shoe that looked like it had been scrubbed and disinfected. Being that Modelo is the official beer of the UFC, it was the obvious choice to do the shoe act on television.

Just like Stone Cold Steve Austin, DC may have ingested about a tablespoon of beer, while the rest went everywhere else.