Real Quick with Mike Swick’s athletic supporter in your ribs

real-quick-mike-athletic-supporter-ribs

When a guy gets kicked in the balls during a UFC fight, odds are you’ve heard Joe Rogan go on and on about steel athletic supporters. He usually goes on to tell us that the plastic ones that most fighters wear aren’t very good for support and the steel ones are way better to avoid getting your nuts cracked.

Enter former UFC fighter and Mike Swick teammate, Kyle Kingsbury. Kingsbury went on Rogan’s podcast and revealed that during training he was getting Swickatined and Mike’s steel cup broke his ribs.

Rogan always explains how fighters don’t like wearing those Diamond cups because( wait for it) it feels like a thong is going up their ass. Swick swears that he’s never worn a steel cup and that the Swickatine is just that damn good.

The reason he doesn’t wear one?

“I don’t like putting that string up my ass.”

None of us do, Mike. None of us do.

Mike Swick Details Dan Bilzerian’s New $100 Million Dollar LA Bachelor Pad

inside-dan-million-dollar-bachelor-pad-ignite-cannabis

While Dan Bilzerian is the world’s most excellent bachelor, Mike Swick continues to alienate himself from his best friend, Marc Bogutzki. It’s not a real loathing, rather, a brotherly ‘envy’. Marc has himself a case, too. If your bestie rubs elbows with celebrities and you find yourself only ‘hearing’ about the good times that were had; Usually, it’s a case of, “Hey, thanks for the invite, dick!”

Well, Swick went to LA and hung out with Dan Bilzerian at his $100 million bachelor pad and everyone on Earth is green with envy. For that much money, it’s almost unfathomable how incredible the place must be. However, Swick tries his darndest in this clip to convey the awesomeness that was Bilzerian’s home.

Make sure to hit the ‘SUBSCRIBE’ button on the Real Quick YouTube channel.

Mike Swick on Anastasia Yankova’s Bellator 200 fight camp and health

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Taken from the RQMS Podcast Ep 20, Mike Swick gives us an update on undefeated Bellator flyweight, Anastasia Yankova. Swick discussed Yankova’s health as well as where her weight is at, nine weeks out. Honestly, it sounds like she may not even have to cut weight, as Swick says she is only five pounds over right now.

Then, Swick gives Yankova about as big of a compliment that anyone can get. Considering Swick trains with guys like Daniel Cormier, Josh Thomson, Cain Velasquez, Khabib Nurmagomedov, and Luke Rockhold, he says of Yankova,

“Her and Khabib are the toughest… mentally toughest and just strong physically, that I’ve ever trained with.”

To sum it up, Swick says that she is a HEALTHY savage right now, so all the ladies in Bellator better watch out. Anastasia is coming!

WTF is a ‘Shoey’? Tai Tuivasa and Marc Bogutzki explain

shoey-tai-tuivasa-bogutzki-explain

If anyone is going to be able to describe something that deals with chugging a beer, it would be an Australian and The Real Quick with Mike Swick Podcast’s, Marc Bogutzki. When it’s a ‘shoey’, they both seem to be experts.

When I first saw Tai Tuivasa drink a beer from a stranger’s shoe, I sounded like Smokey in ‘Friday’ when his blind date took off her wig. *High pitched* “GOD DAMN”! It was a feeling of ‘why?’ and ‘what is your problem?’. To Swick and myself, it doesn’t get much more disgusting than that. However, according to Tuivasa, it does.

“Usually you get someone’s workboot. That was a new shoe, so that was easy”.

A ‘shoey’, y’all.

Mike Swick in a snake pit. Cobra isn’t ‘Quick’ enough for Swick.

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Guess what I’ll never do? Hop into a snake pit and go face to face with a Cobra. You would think after being attacked by a monkey and dealing with snakes once before, Mike Swick would learn his damn lesson. Nope.

I’m shaking my head as I type this and thinking, “Maybe that’s why I haven’t heard from Swick in the last few days”. It’s because he’s out there in Thailand messing with snakes. Never me.

At least this time he’s waving an AKA Thailand hat in front of them. Last time he posted a video with snakes he was trying to smack them on the head. What a psycho.

P.S. Can I get an advance on all writing payments for the next two years? Just covering my bases in case you wind up hospitalized because you want to play ‘Grab Ass’ with the Siamese Crocodile.

Khabib’s UFC 219 bold main event prediction of Holm vs Cyborg

Main Event breakdown of UFC 219 by Khabib

Khabib Nurmagomedov will play second fiddle to Holly Holm vs Cris Cyborg on Saturday night. He will take on Edson Barboza in the co-main event, right before Holm takes on Cyborg. However, Khabib gives his prediction on the UFC 219 main event to Mike Swick on the RQMS Podcast.

“I think Cyborg is going to go aggressive in the first round. If Holly Holm stays focused, doesn’t rush, and takes her time; I think she can catch her. I think Holly Holm can knock her out. Cyborg is so tough and right now she’s the best female fighter in the world. But, I think Holly Holm can knock her out.”

It remains to be seen what happens between the two, but it should be Cyborg’s most competative fight to date. Holm has never been outstruck in boxing or MMA and Cyborg is confident in her Muay Thai. Khabib, like many others, feel that the technical style of Holm can trump the overly aggressive Cyborg.

We are ready to see that fight right now!

Garbrandt on RQMS Podcast recalls almost going nuclear on JCVD

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In our fourteenth episode of the Real Quick with Mike Swick Podcast, Cody Garbrandt recalls almost going nuclear on Jean Claude Van Damme. JCVD was invited to Team Alpha Male to teach others some of those fancy kicks that he does. At one point, he demonstrates on Cody Garbrandt and gets a little too zealous.

As told by Cody,

“He started throwing hands at me. Like, slapping at me. I thought, ‘What the hell?’ Then he f*****g kicked me with that hook kick right in the teeth. I was like, motherf****r, I was pissed, I was so mad.

I went black and was going to rip his head off. But, it’s Jean Claude; What am I supposed to do?”

Apparently, JCVD got the memo that Cody is a certified badass. Garbrandt says, “(Van Damme) drops to his knees and starts crying, ‘My champioooooon’. He’s crying like that, so I felt hella awkward.”

Cody also reveals that he kept calling JCVD, ‘Jean’ and not ‘Jean Claude’. Maybe that was what prompted him to kick Cody in the teeth. Whatever the case may be, this is one of the funniest stories ever told on the RQMS Podcast.

 

ICYMI, Dana White comically shatters Mike Swick’s dreams.

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Have you ever done something that you were so proud of and you wanted the whole world to know about it? Then someone comes along and shatters your entire universe by telling you, it’s not that great. Better yet, they tell you that it’s the lamest thing they’ve ever seen. That was Dana White telling Mike Swick that his sponsor banner was the worst thing to happen to the UFC.

Enjoy this short segment from Episode #10 where Dana White blows up Swick’s dreams. We would feel bad for Swick, however, we are too busy laughing for that to happen.

RQMS Podcast: The crash and burn of a really bad segment

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I’m not sure about what was actually supposed to happen in this segment. I can, however, tell you that Mike and Marc failed miserably throughout it.

MikeSwick.com staff theories about what Mike and Marc were doing here:

  1. Are these guys supposed to be ushers at a Bar Mitzvah? Literally, they are wearing the standard seventh grader’s outfit at every Bar Mitvah that I’ve ever attended in my youth. The ‘loose tie’ look is straight out of the Jewish mother’s “You need to look nice, so people don’t think we are heathens” playbook.
  2. Mike and Marc are re-creating a modern day ‘Blues Brothers’. Guess what? It didn’t work in 1998 when John Goodman stepped in for John Belushi and they added a kid to the mix. This 2017 version is almost as bad as that one. Almost.
  3. Who else was expecting these guys to say: “Our most modest urn costs $750”?

This should have made it to the blooper reel, but let’s face it; The whole thing is a blooper real.

1,000 YouTube subscribers! ‘Real Quick’ host Bogutzki, CHOKED OUT!

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Marc Bogutzki, co-host of the Real Quick with Mike Swick Podcast, got what was coming to him. The deal was this: 1,000 YouTube subscribers, Marc gets choked by Swick. Welp, the page earned 1,000 subscribers and Marc (Who has never even so much as thrown a punch in his life) got put to sleep by Mike Swick.

You know what is funny though? This was the most somber that we’ve ever seen Swick. In theory, choking your friend unconscious is pretty funny. In reality, it looked like Swick didn’t like it at all. Of course, Marc continues to talk smack afterwards, so I assume  Swick came to grips with it rather quickly.

50,000 subscribers and Marc does a live Muay Thai fight. So, for the love of all that is pure and true, PLEASE SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHANNEL! We have to see that!

 

Paging Shia LaBeouf. Marc Bogutzki, from Real Quick, is calling you out!

Paging Shia LaBeouf. Marc Bogutzki, from Real Quick, is calling you out!

It’s no secret that The Real Quick Podcast co-host, Marc Bogutzki, needs an opponent for his first ass-kicking fight ever. Shia LaBeouf fights (sort of) and is famous. LaBeouf would be the perfect contender for Marc, who is making his debut.

This is nothing concrete, but I think Marc has never even lifted a weight in his life. Marc played baseball and is athletic, but I think it ends there. Come to think of it; Can baseball players even be called ‘athletes’? I digress.

Marc has the backing of Mickey Rourke and Mike Swick, which isn’t too shabby of a crew. However, watch the video and see what exactly Mr Rourke will do for Marc between rounds. You may not see Mickey’s ‘skill’ as being advantageous for Marc, unless you’re into that sort of thing.

Come on Mr LaBeouf, don’t make us say, “Shia will not divide FIGHT us.”

Mike Swick reveals that Luke Rockhold isn’t cocky. He’s angry.

Angry Luke Rockhold gets confused for being cocky.

I know, I know. What does Luke Rockhold have to be angry about? He’s been a world champion in two organizations, he’s got the jawline of Derek Zoolander, has a thirteen pack for abs, and he probably smells terrific too. So, why so mad?

Mike Swick reveals the reason why on the Real Quick With Mike Swick Podcast. Often times, the chip on Rockhold’s shoulder gets misconstrued as cockiness or arrogance. As Swick tells it, Rockhold’s ‘me against the world’ attitude could stem from his training environment.

Watch the video and you will see Swick give great insight into why Luke carries himself the way that he does.

Daniel Cormier has over $1,000,000 in uncashed checks, in his home safe

Daniel Cormier

Uncashed checks for over $1,000,000 dollars are just sitting in Daniel Cormier’s home safe. I’m not going to lie and say I didn’t type that with Dr Evil’s voice in mind. “One million dollars.”

“One milllllllion dollars.”

-Dr Dougie Evil

Let me tell you something right now… If I had that much money:

  1. I’d cash out immediately.
  2. Post all of the dirty secrets that I know about MMA, on my social media.
  3. Delete all of my social media.

However, this is not the plan for the former-possibly-soon-to-be-current UFC light heavyweight champion, Daniel Cormier. DC has $1,000,000 sitting comfortably in his home safe that he will not cash until he is ready. Check out the video to hear his explanation.

Also, make sure to watch the entire episode with DC on the ‘Real Quick Podcast’:

Mickey Rourke Training For New Fight In California, at 64 years young.

At 64 years young, Mickey Rourke wants 2 more boxing matches

At sixty-four years young, Mickey Rourke still has a little bit left in the tank. Rourke is especially motivated because of what his last opponent did to him. No, his opponent did not beat him. In fact, his opponent came out and said he was paid to take a dive. However, Rourke claims that the  guy is blowing smoke and he is none to happy about it.

“Especially because it hurts so much. There was a rumor going around about that piece of shit taking a dive for twelve grand. I mean, Freddie (Roach) banned the little mother*****r from the gym. If I saw him on the street, I’d kick his ass right in the f*****g alley. I worked too goddamned hard to have someone take away something I worked so hard for.”

Having his reputation tarnished by his previous opponent seems to be the biggest motivator in Rourke’s desire to fight again. He said he met with the California commissioner and got the green light to fight in Los Angeles. Rourke is just waiting for a date to do some good ol face punching.

Check out the full podcast with Mickey’s wild stories:

Dan Hardy breaks down May/Mac with no bias, on The Real Quick Podcast

Dan Hardy breaks down May/Mac with no bias, on The Real Quick Podcast

No wonder why the UFC chose Dan Hardy to be a UFC analyst. The Outlaw gives fantastic breakdowns with no bias and has a career filled with knowledge. He recently went on our namesake’s podcast and gave a breakdown of the superfight between Conor McGregor and Floyd Mayweather. Hardy is working the fight, so he did not pick a winner. However, he did a superb breakdown of the fight.

“We can’t count (Conor) out in this fight because he’s made the unbelievable… believable, already.”

Hardy feels that if Conor wins it could be a stoppage withing the first six rounds. If Floyd Mayweather wins, Hardy seems to think it will go the distance. Of course, he isn’t limiting the outcome and gave alternative ways that this fight could go.