I’m just gonna leave this Bob Sapp “fight” KO here and ease out the door.

Bob Sapp

Dear Bob Sapp, go home, you’re drunk.

Bob Sapp is still out there on the official retirement circuit, picking up checks to take hellacious beatings in all corners of the world. Now, when I say hellacious beatings, it’s subjective. In his latest classic, he went one on one with the household name Tony Gregory and was stopped in his tracks by a left hand for the ages. It’s a miracle that Sapp was able to leave the ring on his own after this stunning knockout. Yes, that’s sarcasm for those who didn’t realize it.

It’s yet another in what has become the unintentionally funny career of Bob Sapp. He flies in, gets into a weigh-in day kerfuffle and then takes a dive on fight night. He’s become the Greg Louganis of MMA. If it weren’t done so comically bad, it would be sad. As it is, it’s just pathetic.

I’m going to leave this here, courtesy of the amazing Caposa on Twitter and go on living my life. I suggest you attempt to do the same. If you can, after witnessing the horror of this left-hand knock out straight from hell.

The loss moves Bob Sapp’s record to an impressive 11-20. The loss marks Bob Sapp’s 16th consecutive MMA defeat. Have to give him credit for taking these ferocious beatings and coming back for me. Right? Come on, play along.

Do you even MMA bro? Don’t be a bad fan. Don’t be That Guy.

don't be that guy

No sport has as passionate and seemingly absurd fans as MMA. There’s a disturbing trend that continues on fight night. “Fans” of the sport berating fighters and labeling them as exposed, washed up, or letting us know they were never any good in the first place. It’s a simple thing, Don’t be That Guy! I … Read moreDo you even MMA bro? Don’t be a bad fan. Don’t be That Guy.

Real Quick, Retro Pick: Bob Sapp does a Japanese pizza commercial

Real Quick, Retro Pick: Bob Sapp does a Japanese pizza commercial

This may be the worst in all of Bob Sapp’s Japanese commercials from over ten years ago. Dancing in knee high yoga pants is worth turning off the video all by itself.

You know when you sniff something that smells terrible and you immediately ask your buddy to smell it? That’s what watching this video does. We watched it and it was so bad, we had to share it with you all.

If I never see Bob Sapp dancing in a tight t-shirt and pink shoes again, it will be too soon. You’ve surely seen worse and more offensive videos on the internet, but none will leave you feeling more ashamed than when you watch this video. Twice.

Real Quick, Retro Pick. Fedor Emelianenko vs Bob Sapp in an arm-wrestling competition.

Real Quick, Retro Pick. Fedor Emelianenko vs Bob Sapp in arm wrestling competition.

Oh those wacky Japanese game shows. Usually, we see people lighting firecrackers in their ass and everybody laughing with glee. They changed it up and had an arm-wrestling competition with some very famous fighters. Fedor Emelianenko, Bob ‘The Beast’ Sapp, Mark Hunt, Baruto, Jerome LeBanner, and Alistair Overeem were just some of the names that took part in the competition in 2013.

Bob Sapp won the previous year’s tournament with a win over The Reem. He once again blasted his way through opponents in the newer tournament. It should be noted that Bob Sapp is a HUGE name in Japan. Like, Conor McGregor in Ireland, huge. The Eastern culture has always had a fascination with the monstrous physiques that sometimes come over from the West.

The Beast would literally shut Japan down when he fought. Obviously, these days things are different, but he is still a huge star.

Fedor beat Brazilian kickboxer Francisco Filho first. Then, he finished 340 pound Mongolian Sumo wrestler, Hakunho. Before his finals match with The Beast, he won against martial artist and personality, Bobby Ologun.

When you look at Fedor and see the dad-bod he’s had since the 1990’s, you wouldn’t think he’d be as strong as he is. Beating three people in a row to make the finals, is no easy feat.

Despite going 2-17 in MMA since 2008, Bob Sapp is still an enormous and powerful man. Fedor would crush Sapp if they stepped in the ring, but in a match pitting strength against strength; Fedor never had a chance.